A broken ankle and a fresh perspective

Post-surgery

To say March was an adventurous month would be an understatement.  It was...a roller coaster. One with a lot of loops and dips.  But I still owe an apology for being a complete slacker even before this month with my blog.  I haven't kept my promise but I'm back and I will do my best!

Lets press the rewind button:  Last Tuesday morning I went for a run outside before work as a part of my healthy eating/living initiative.  This is composed of no coffee until Easter, veggies and fruits each day and morning runs.  Now the first one would have been challenging enough but I get way too overambitious sometimes.  So here I go to a state park nearby around 7am with my afro bed hair, black sweats and the t-shirt I slept in.  Two minutes into the course, I slip on black ice and land on my left ankle in a completely twisted way.  Pain. Pain. And more pain until I get to the hospital in an ambulance. The snobby nurse won't give me my pain meds for a good 3 hours so I feel like I'm dying slowly...  I finally get my morphine and find out the next day I will need surgery because I've skillfully managed to break all three bones in my ankle.  It hurt. It sucked. It put everything on my life on hold including work which I kept thinking back to. 

Now that the surgery is done and I spent this entire week on heavy pain meds, poor sleep, nausea and lots of crying.  It's been challenging and humbling.  I am no superwoman nor do I feel the need to be.  I guess somehow I always felt the need to be. Why is that?  I don't know.  Pride probably.  But I have no cape when I can't even get my pants on in the morning, or going up steps takes three times as long, or having to ask people for help with almost everything.  I have no cape.  And I never did.  I just thought I did.  

So with gentle reminders, I'm being shown that life is quite unpredictable.  I'm not in control of the future.  I'm only in control of what I've been given today.  This day.  And with what I have, I am grateful.  People have been incredibly supportive during this tough time and God has been gracious.  I'm not superwoman but I certainly feel very free at the moment..

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. - Matthew 6:34

Please?

Sculpture at the Johnson Museum - Cornell University, Ithaca

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.  Ecclesiastes 3:10-12

Crying is therapeutic and makes you feel human.  Today I got scared of waiting on med schools - anxiety kicked in, emotions choked me.  Maybe it was the long day at work, the readiness to leave the 9 to 5 work schedule, the longing to finally be where I want to be.  Waiting is hard and trusting is harder.

 

Waiting is hard

Joey the king, Home

It is 5:30 pm and I'm still at work! If I could paint a picture of my brain, it would look like a dried prune. I'm ready to go home... but here I am being the workaholic that I am.  Writing out my letter of recommendation for my boss to send to schools.

I'm ready to go to school now.. I'm so ready to be done. Oh dear, I said it.

I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you. - Matthews 17:20